


The Accident

by Dassy1407



Category: One Direction, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Car Accident, Hurt, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-23
Updated: 2013-03-29
Packaged: 2017-12-06 06:14:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/732352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dassy1407/pseuds/Dassy1407
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis remembers Niall's screams. But mostly he remembers seeing Liam’s laying on the pavement, hurt, scared, and alone. </p><p>Louis wanted to go over to Liam, beg him to be okay, because this was all his fault.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The main thing Louis remembered from that evening was Niall’s screams. The young Irishman’s hand had been crushed between him and the car door when they were hit. Not only was Niall’s hand crushed, but the impact of it snapped one of the bones in his forearm, and it was sticking out of the skin. No wonder Niall had screamed so much.

Louis also remembered standing on the side of the road with Zayn, watching as two of their friends were loaded into one ambulance.

Harry had been in the middle in the backseat and his head had hit off of Niall’s when they hit, so the medics needed to take him too. Zayn and Louis were basically unharmed from the accident.

Niall’s screams were the only thing Louis remembered hearing that night, but Liam’s still form laying on the cold, wet, high way pavement was the only thing he remembered seeing. He was pretty sure Zayn was holding him up as they watched the paramedics roll Liam’s limp form onto a backboard. His neck was in a brace and one of the medics was holding a manual resuscitator over Liam‘s face. That only meant that Liam wasn’t breathing on his own. Louis wanted to go over to Liam, beg him to be okay, because this was all his fault. But Zayn’s grip on him must have been pretty tight, or his body just didn’t want to listen to him. He stayed where he was as Liam was loaded into another ambulance and driven off.

When an officer finally drove them to the hospital, Louis’s mind began to work again. He held onto Zayn’s hand, pulling him into the hospital and demanded the receptionist tell them where their friends were. She told them to wait. Louis wanted to protest, but Zayn whispered in his ear that yelling won’t help their friends, and Louis knew he was right.

As Zayn sat in a too clean chair in the waiting room, silently crying, Louis paced. Back and forth, up and down the length of the room, waiting anxiously for someone to come and tell them the condition of their friends—especially Liam. Liam who had been laughing at a lame joke Harry told them only seconds before the truck crashed into their car.

Louis figured that if he hadn’t egged Liam on to turn in his seat and assist in tickling Niall, then Liam wouldn’t have removed his seat belt in the first place. Then, if he hadn’t removed his seat belt, Liam’s body wouldn’t have went through the front windshield. But besides that, Louis was driving, so it was his fault in any sense.

Just because the other driver was drinking didn’t mean that if Louis would have decided on a different route, or gone a different speed that his friends would be okay.

“Louis? Zayn?”

Louis turned around and saw Niall and Harry both walking towards them. They looked pale, scraped all over their bodies. Niall’s left arm was in a giant cast that engulfed all of his fingers.

Louis opened his mouth to say something to him, but “I’m sorry” didn’t seem to be enough, so he closed his mouth and looked away.

“Are you guys okay?” Zayn asked, instead.

“They had to reset my arm—ulna was snapped,” Niall spoke softly and Louis wondered if he was drugged up from the pain.

“Concussion, but I’m fine,” Harry said. “Have you heard anything…?” he asked, knowing that naming their missing friend wouldn’t have changed from them all knowing what he was asking.

Louis didn’t hear Zayn respond, but he assumed that he shook his head at them in response. Louis still refused to look up from staring at the floor. He jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder and he looked up to see Harry beside him.

“Lou—” Harry said before pulling Louis to his chest and Louis collapsed into his embrace.

“He can’t die, Haz,” Louis cried, his emotions finally reaching their boiling point.

“He’s not going to die,” Harry said, a sense of urgency in his tone. “Liam’s strong, okay? He’s the strongest one out of all of us, he’s going to be fine,” he said sternly, but Louis could hear the uncertainty lacing his friend’s words.

There was a sigh from the door and Louis pulled away from Harry to see Paul rushing over to them. “Thank god,” the man stated, relief flooding over his expression. “Are you guys okay?” he asked, eyeing Niall’s cast.

“Lou and I are fine,” Zayn spoke up. “Harry has a concussion, Niall broke his arm—”

“And Liam?” Paul’s eyes flashed to Louis and that only made Louis cringe and look away.

“We don’t know yet,” Harry said, pulling Louis in for another hug.

There was silence in the room aside from Louis’s sobs and Zayn’s light cries until Paul spoke again.

“I’ll go see if I can get any information,” the body guard explained before leaving the room.

~

It was late in the night, hours after they first arrived, when they got any information about Liam. A doctor, who looked as tired and strained as all the boys felt at this point, came in.

Louis jolted Harry awake from where he was rested against Louis’s shoulder and then stood up. “Please…” was all he said before the doctor began.

“Mr. Payne is stable. We lost him on the operating table, but we were able to bring him back. He had internal bleeding but we patched it up with surgery,” the doctor started and Louis felt weak again.

“Th-that’s good right? He’s stable?” Niall’s quiet voice was unrecognizable when he asked. He sounded so hopeful and yet so scared.

“It’s a good sign, but Mr. Payne is not in the complete clear yet,” the doctor continued sadly. “He’s not able to breathe on his own and there is swelling on his brain. If he manages to wake up and regains the ability to breathe on his own again—”

“Did you just say if he manages to wake up?” Harry said, venom in his voice.

“He’s going to wake up, Haz,” Zayn said, reaching out and putting a hand on Harry’s shoulder.

The doctor waited until Harry didn’t seem ready to pounce on him before continuing. “If, or when he wakes up, Mr. Payne will likely have brain damage. It is unclear to of what extent at this point. We will know more if the wakes up.”

“He keeps saying “if”,” Harry muttered, turning away from them and sitting down.

“Can we see him?” Paul asked.

Louis raised his head and looked at the doctor. “Yes, only a couple at a time. But I need to tell you something first. When Mr. Payne first arrived here, he woke up for a brief period of time. He repeatedly asked for “Lou”.”

Louis’s eyes glistened and his body shook. He imagined Liam, broken, scared, and alone, waking up with unfamiliar faces standing above him, asking him questions… and during that time, he asked for Louis?

“Why don’t you come with me then,” Paul said and Louis nodded before leading him out of the room after the doctor.

Louis was unprepared to see Liam like that. He wondered if anyone was ever prepared to see some one they cared for like that: Liam was hooked up to all sorts of machines. He looked so tiny, so broken, underneath all the wires and tubes. Louis almost stumbled over to Liam’s side, collapsing in the chair and grabbing Liam’s placid hand. “I’m so sorry, Li,” Louis cried. “It’s a-all my fault, I-I’m so sorry,” he sobbed.

Liam remained unconscious, the beep of the heart monitor, the swoosh of the breathing machine, and Louis’s cries were the only sound in the tiny room.


	2. Chapter 2

The next few weeks were shaky. Liam’s condition wavered from bad to stable, and the doctors even considered removing him from life support. Luckily Liam’s family refused to even consider it.

Exactly two months after the accident, Liam began to show significant signs of improvement. His lungs grew stronger and the doctors were able to remove the breathing tube, leaving him with minimal oxygen assistance. 

It was up to Liam now if he was going to wake up. Yet, this made it harder on everyone because even though Liam’s body was growing healthier, he had yet to wake up. That didn’t mean anyone was giving up hope. The boys visited every single day. Louis rarely left, only when Zayn made him go to his flat for a good meal and rest. Then he was back at Liam’s side, using Liam’s arm as a pillow and washing up in the hospital’s locker room. 

Louis was alone with Liam when the younger boy finally decided to wake up. Louis had his feet propped up on the side of Liam’s bed, and he was flipping through his phone in search of more tweets from fans to read to Liam. “Listen here, Li,” Louis smiled. “sarahbellsforever1d says ‘Praying for your full recovery, Liam and wishing your band mates the best’,” he read and then put down his phone, looking at Liam.

Louis’s smile fell when Liam didn’t react. He took his feet off of Liam’s bed and scooted closer to the boy, picking up his hand. “C’mon, Liam,” he said, his quiet voice feeling loud in the small room. “You have to come back to me,” he said. He took a quick glance at the door, seeing it closed. “We have to tell the boys about us,” he said, clamping his jaw shut to stop his voice from shaking. “We barely had a date--a real date--before this happened,” he said, shaking his head, trying to force the tears away. “I know you’re scared, Li, about telling the others, but we’ll do it together, yeah?”

Louis stared at Liam’s face for a long time, looking for any sign of him waking up. When he found none, he laid his head down on the bed, letting the sheets soak up his tears. 

It was cliché, really, that Liam would squeeze Louis’s hand as he woke up. This made Louis raise his head immediately, almost screaming at the sight of Liam’s brown eyes staring back at him. “Liam!” he wanted to pounce on the boy, hug him, kiss him, and just shake him because he had been so scared that Liam wasn’t gong to wake up and he was angry at Liam for making him wait so long and be so scared. But instead, Louis’s hand hit the nurse call button, but his eyes never left Liam’s. 

“Oh god, you’re awake,” Louis hadn’t realized he started to cry again until his tears rolled into his mouth. “You’re awake,” he repeated, squeezing Liam’s hand again.

Liam stared back at him with a slightly confused expression. His tongue slid lightly over his lips as they parted, as if he wanted to say something, but then he seemed to change his mind and his lips closed again.

“Say something, Liam, please,” Louis begged, just as the doors behind him opened and a nurse walked in.

“Liam?” Louis repeated, growing worried from the subtle and nervous expression Liam wore. The younger boy opened his mouth again as if to speak, but then suddenly, his eyes were rolling back into his head and the grip he had on Louis’s hand tightened dangerously.

“Liam!” Louis cried as Liam’s body twitched and arched off the bed, his body going into spasms.

“He’s having a seizure,” the nurse behind him stated frantically before yelling out into the hall, “I need help in here!”

Louis’s hand was being ripped from Liam’s and he was being yanked from the room. “No! Liam!” he yelled.

“Relax!” There were multiple arms around him, but he stopped struggling once he was pulled down the hall from Liam’s room.

“He was awake!” Louis cried, collapsing into the arms that held him.

“Calm down, Lou, please, he’ll be okay.” Louis recognized Niall’s voice talking into his ear.

He looked up to see Niall, Harry, and Zayn all holding onto him. Zayn had tears on his cheeks and Harry was fighting off his tears.

“He woke up, but then,” Louis’s voice broke and he shook his head, turning and burying his face against Harry’s chest. 

“I know, Louis,” Harry said, but Louis didn’t know what Harry thought he knew. He didn’t know anything. No one knew anything because they didn’t know about Louis and how much he cared about--no. They didn’t know how much he loved Liam. 

Louis let the other boys move him to the waiting room, not too far from Liam’s room, but far enough to make Louis squirm in his seat. They all sat in silence until Liam’s mum arrived.

“I just got the call,” Karen said as she walked into the room, looking disheveled and stressed as all hell. Normally she never would have left the hospital for anything, but Louis had convinced her to go to Liam’s place to get a good rest.

“Is he…”

“Louis says he woke up, but then..” Zayn gulped.

“I’m sorry, Karen-- he just started shaking, and I don’t know if he’s okay,” Louis continued, his head bowing in shame. He had been the one with Liam when he woke up and he let Liam get hurt, again.

Karen rushed over to them and hugged him. “It’s okay, Louis,” she said, kissing his forehead. He wished she would have stayed longer to comfort him, because her accent reminded him of Liam’s and she vaguely smelled like his cologne; probably from resting in her son’s flat. But after hugging and kissing all the boys, she disappeared down the hall to get more information about Liam.

She never returned. Almost an hour later, with Paul, Andy, and Zayn’s mum also waiting now, Liam’s sister came back in with Liam’s primary doctor.

Louis wasn’t sure if it was the look on his face, or if Liam’s sister, Ruth, knew something she wasn’t sharing, but something made her go straight to Louis. “He’s alive,” she cried happily as she pulled him into a tight hug. “He’s okay,” her voice broke then and Louis looked over her shoulder to the doctor.

“Liam is suffering from traumatic brain injury from the accident. This resulted in him having a seizure when he first regained consciousness, but it caused no further damage that we know of.”

“But there’s still damage?” Louis heard Niall asked.

“We’ve run some tests, and,” the doctor sighed, and Louis could tell he was dreading delivering this news. “He had damage to the cerebral cortex, though we need to run more tests to distinguish the severity,” he explained.

“It’s bad, Lou,” Ruth cried into his neck, making Louis’s arms tremble around her. 

“Is he okay, though?” Harry’s voice was raw. “Like, is he talking? Moving?” Louis felt the same as Harry. He just wanted to know Liam’s condition without all this medical stuff that clearly no one was understanding.

“I’m sorry, but I have to leave that up to his family to explain--” the doctor explained.

“You just told basically told his medical problems,” Zayn snapped. “We just want to know if he’s okay.”

Ruth began to cry harder against him as the doctor contemplated telling the group more.

“Please…” Louis let out a broken sob.

The doctor stared at Louis before beginning. “I have yet to run thorough tests but it seems the temporal lobe and the parietal lobe have been significantly damaged.”

“Which means?” Zayn pressed.

“All I can tell you is that he’s having difficulty communicating vocally and physically,” The doctor explained. “Now, please, I must go schedule more tests,” he said and then walked out before Louis could question what he meant by “difficulty communicating“. 

He pulled Ruth away from him so he could look at her. “Ruth? You’ve seen him, right?”

Ruth nodded but refused to look at him.

“Is he okay?”

“I don’t know, Louis,” Ruth wiped her eyes. “But he’s alive, okay? He’s alive and he’s with us, okay? We just have to remember that,” she said.

“When will we be able to see him?” Paul asked her.

Ruth shrugged her shoulders, walking over to the chairs and sitting down. Zayn’s mum went over to comfort her.

Louis was relieved that Liam was alive--but he didn’t know what damage was left. He needed to see Liam. He looked back at the group, seeing that they were all distracted with each other, before bolting from the room. He almost made it to Liam’s door when a nurse stepped in front of him. “Excuse me sir, you can’t go in there,” she said and Louis almost pushed past her, but then Liam’s door was opening and Karen was stepping out. 

Through the couple seconds of the door being opened, he could see Liam sitting up in bed. He was staring straight at Louis and Louis smiled. “Liam!” he called, but then Liam looked away, not smiling or saying anything in return, and then the door was closed.

“Louis, sweetie,” Karen stepped up to him, gently grabbing his arms. 

“I want to see him,” Louis begged her.

Karen looked up at him, her eyes coated with moisture. “I’m sorry, Louis,” she said, squeezing his arms. “But he doesn’t want to see you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh-oh! What's wrong with Liam and why doesn't he want to see Louis?
> 
> Also, thanks for the suggestions in the last chapter! Hopefully you all still like where I will be taking Liam's injuries. 
> 
> Dassy xx


	3. Chapter 3

To be fair, Liam apparently didn’t want to see anyone. It wasn’t just Louis that he refused to see; it was all the boys. Liam let Paul see him, but not Andy. Andy ended up getting so fed up from the whole thing that he went back home. Louis refused to leave. He demanded to know Liam’s condition every hour, but all the nurse would tell him was “He’s good,” with a sad smile.

He wished people would stop smiling at him like that. Karen did it, Ruth did it, all the nurses did it. It was like they felt bad for him and he didn’t know why. One evening, Louis begged Ruth to explain what was wrong with Liam, but she refused to answer.

“Why won’t anyone just tell me,” Louis had begged her.

Ruth gave him her sad smile. “Liam doesn’t want you to know,” she said before returning to her brother’s side. 

All would have been fine--well not fine--but everything would have continued painfully the same if one day Louis hadn’t returned from the cafeteria to see Harry walking out of Liam’s room.

“Is something wrong?” was Louis’s first question. Because he didn’t want to believe that Liam let Harry see him before Louis could. He much would have rather believed that Liam was on his death bed again and couldn’t wait for all the boys to get there--including Louis--before just letting Harry visit him like it was nothing.

Harry had tears in his eyes, but he shook his head. “He’s good,” he said and then he closed the door behind him.

“Can I see him now?” Louis’s heart pounded in his chest.

Harry shook his head. “He’s still not ready to see you--”

“Bullshit,” Louis said, but knew it wasn’t. There was no reason for anyone besides Liam to refuse his visit. Liam was the only one refusing.

“Not yet, Lou--”

“Harry!” Louis snapped. “I’ve been in the dark for days, and I’m your best friend. Please,” Louis grabbed onto Harry’s arm and squeezed.

Harry gulped and looked down at Louis, contemplating in his head. “Fine, I’ll tell you. But you still can’t see him yet, okay?”

Louis nodded because knowing anything about Liam’s condition was better than knowing nothing.

Harry led him back to the waiting room, which was empty today. “Do you remember the parts of the brain that the doctor said Liam had damaged?” Harry started.

“No…not really,” Louis admitted, frowning when Harry sat down, but then he sat down beside him.

“It’s a part of the brain that controls a lot of functions. Considering everything, I’d say Liam’s pretty well off compared to what could have been damaged--”

“Just tell me!” Louis demanded.

Harry took a deep breath, staring at Louis’s tearful eyes. “He can’t speak, Lou,” he stated. 

Louis felt the world tilt around him. “I… I don’t understand,” he said slowly.

“The doctor gave it some fancy name but he can’t control the muscles of his tongue and mouth very well. The doctors say that intensive therapy will help improve the functions over time, but I can tell Liam’s frustrated,” Harry sighed.

“I need to see him,” Louis cracked. 

“That’s not all,” Harry said, ignoring Louis’s request. “They haven’t gotten him out of bed yet, but his mobility is also bad. His hands constantly shook and he kept flinching--”

“How do you know all this?” Louis couldn’t hold back the sob. He didn’t know why he was crying though; was it because Liam really was this bad off, or was a part of it because Liam allowed Harry to know all of this before him.

“I only now just found out,” Harry explained. “Liam didn’t talk but he let the doctor explain--”

“Why won’t he let me see him?!” Louis snapped, his hands going to his hair and pulling at it in frustration.

“He hasn’t said…” Harry frowned. 

“Louis?”

Louis turned to see Karen standing in the doorway. He didn’t say anything but she approached him and pulled him into another hug. “I’m sorry,” she whispered into his ear.

Louis returned the hug but was determined to not let her leave without a better explanation. “Why can’t I see him?” he asked once they pulled apart.

Karen rubbed her cheeks tiredly. “It was at his request, love,” she explained. “He’s embarrassed for you to see him like this. I‘m guessing Harry has told you?”

Louis nodded. “He can’t keep me shut out,” he frowned but then paused. “Did you say it was at his request?”

Karen smiled sadly, again, but nodded. “The speech therapist just arrived. He wants you there,” she said and took his hand.

Louis felt one stress lifted off his shoulders, but a whole new set of worries pressed down on him at the same time. He didn’t pay attention to where Harry wondered off to; his only focus was on the destination Karen was leading him too.

When Karen led him into the room, a woman was already sitting at Liam’s side, talking to him. Ruth sat in the far corner, reading a book. Karen’s grip on his wrist was the only thing keeping him from running over and pulling Liam into a giant hug. From here, Liam didn’t seem hurt at all. All his artificial injuries were healed by now, but there was nothing damaged about the way he was nodding to the woman’s words.

“Liam?” Karen spoke softly, as if speaking loudly would have startled the boy.

Liam looked over and his eyes widened slightly when he spotted Louis. 

Louis finally understood how easily it was to smile sadly. “Hi, Li.” Louis noticed the clench of Liam’s arm, his elbow moving and digging into his own slightly. Liam didn’t reply, and Louis immediately felt like a fool for expecting him too. 

Karen was then ushering him into the chair beside Liam’s bed and letting go of his hand. “We’ll just go grab lunch, honey, and we’ll be back, okay?” she said to Liam, who nodded slowly.

Ruth tucked her book under the chair she had been sitting in before following her mum out of the room.

Once the door was closed, the woman scooted her chair closer to the bed. “Alrighty, Liam, are you ready to begin?”

But Liam had yet to look away from Louis, and Louis had yet to look away from him either. The tears in Liam’s eyes were scary, but his silence was worse. Louis could tell that Liam had so much to say, but was just unable to.

“It’s okay, Li,” Louis whispered. He lowered his eyes to watch as Liam raised his hand from the bed, stretching it forward towards Louis’s hand. It twitched slightly and he retracted it back once to his side before he forced it to Louis’s hand which was now lifted from his lap. Louis held on tightly to the trembling hand and forced another smile. “It’s okay,” he repeated.

Liam’s lips trembled slightly, which Louis took as a smile, before he turned back towards the woman.

The woman, who Louis learned was called Dr. Shelly Grey, explained how she’s dealt with many victims of TBI with similar symptoms such as Liam for years. She shared success stories or her therapy and then explained that this wasn’t going to be a quick process. “Relearning to control the functions of your mouth is difficult,” she explained as simply as she could. “Similar to that of an infant, you will only learn how to speak by mimicking sounds and repeating actions.” she said and gave a reassuring smile to both of them. “Ready to start with the first lesson?” she asked.

Liam nodded and Louis squeezed his hand.

“Okay, Liam, I want you to open your mouth and stick out your tongue please,” Dr. Shelly told him.

Liam’s eyebrow raised slightly and Louis knew that look. This should be easy, he was thinking.

Liam’s lips fell open easily, but his tongue never left his mouth. From this angle, Louis couldn’t see inside of Liam’s mouth, but from the look on Liam’s face, Louis could tell that he was concentrating.

“Try pressing your tongue to the roof of your mouth and try again,” Dr. Shelly suggested, not seeming phased by the fact that Liam couldn’t even stick his tongue out of his mouth.

Liam’s mouth closed and he took a deep breath before he opened it again. Louis slid his chair closer and leaned over, looking to see Liam’s tongue hovering between his lips. “C’mon, Li,” he encouraged.

Liam snapped his mouth shut again after his tongue rolled back into his mouth. He let out a frustrated sigh and Louis squeezed his hand again, .

“Try again, Liam,” Dr. Shelly encouraged.

Liam shook his head. 

“You can do it Liam,” Louis said. “You barely tried--“

Liam’s eyes snapped to Louis and instantly filled with tears.

Shit, Louis thought, deciding that throwing out verbal encouragement like that for something Liam was obviously having so much difficulty in doing was not the right thing to do.

“I didn’t meant that, Li,” Louis said, squeezing Liam’s hand tighter when he tried to pull away.

“That’s enough for today,” Dr. Shelly sighed and once again Louis saw that sad smile on her lips. “You did great,” she said sincerely to Liam, patting his knee comfortingly. 

Then she gathered her bag and left the two boys alone.

Liam eventually stopped trying to yank his hand away from Louis and pulled him closer. Louis stood from the chair and let Liam pull him into the hug. “I’m sorry, Liam, I didn’t mean that. I’m so stupid, okay? I’m sorry. I know you were trying, I know you were,” he ranted, his heart almost shattering when Liam sobbed against his chest.

“I’m sorry,” Louis repeated, carding his fingers through Liam’s hair. “This is all my fault,” he stammered.

Liam pushed Louis away then and he was shaking his head. His eyes were red and puffy from crying, and his mouth was opening. “Nnnnnnnnn,” was all Liam could say before Louis was hugging him again, both of them crying against each other. 

“Shh, Li, I know,” Louis cried. “But no matter what, I’m going to be with you through every step, okay? You’re not allowed to ban me from your room, got it?” he said and felt Liam nodding against his chest. 

“Every step,” Louis repeated.


	4. Chapter 4

If there was anything positive that came from Liam’s condition, it was that he was still able to laugh. It took a while, two weeks to be exact, but eventually Louis was able to make Liam laugh.

Liam had been released from the hospital almost a week prior, and he, Louis, Niall, and Zayn all moved into Harry’s flat in London because it was the biggest. At first, Louis was going to just move in with Liam at his, but the other boys claimed that they needed to be there for Liam too. So they all temporarily moved into Harry’s flat--temporarily being until Liam could verbally tell them “I’m okay” without hesitation--which wasn’t going to be for a while. Two weeks of speech therapy did do wonders for Liam though. He was really good at sticking his tongue out now and liked to show it off to the boys all the time.

Usually the boys would just smile at Liam and say “Good job!” when he stuck his tongue out at them, but one evening Louis stuck up his nose sarcastically and stuck his tongue right back out at Liam.

Louis was nervous for a moment, because Liam’s humor was a little bit less that nothing since has woke up. But surprisingly, Liam’s lips formed into a smile and a laugh escaped his lips. 

The other boys all fell silent in their conversation when they heard it and Louis was sure that nothing could have wiped the smile from his own face.

The doctors said that Liam could make any noises he wanted because there was no damage to his voice box. The problem rested in forming the sounds into words. Louis was with Liam for every therapy session so far, and he’s heard Liam make plenty of noises, but the boy’s laughter had to be the most beautiful noise he’s ever heard. 

After Liam laughed, he looked around at all the boys with a hesitant smile, and Louis couldn’t look away. “Liam,” Louis spoke and the boy looked back at him. “You’re amazing, you know that right?” he said.

A light blush formed on Liam’s cheeks and the boy looked down, shrugging as he turned red from embarrassment. After getting confirmation from Liam, Louis told the other boys about their relationship before the accident, though Louis didn’t know if Liam still wanted him now. 

An alarm went off on his phone and Louis reached over to turn it off. “Ready to start, Li?” Louis asked and frowned when Liam’s smile disappeared. 

Liam nodded, his hands clenching on top of his thighs. Since he was still shaky and sometimes his limbs would give out or retract to his body without his permission, Liam had been put into a wheelchair for the time being. Louis knew Liam hated the thing and could tell that Liam was feeling trapped, unable to speak and move the way he wanted to. 

Harry and Niall silently left the living room and Zayn went to the closet to retrieve the mat. He laid it out on the space behind the couch.

Louis went around and pushed Liam’s wheelchair over to the mat. Louis took his hand, which immediately clenched and tried to retract back to Liam’s body, but Louis held on tight and Liam looked up at him with a relieved look. Zayn took his other hand and together they helped Liam to his feet.

Liam’s legs shook and his arms kept flinching and pulling at the hands holding him. His eyes flashed to Louis and Louis only smiled. “You’re fine, Li,” Louis assured and took a step onto the mat. Liam moved his legs forward, moving slowly along the edge of the mat. The mat was only there incase he fell, which unfortunately Liam was prone to do. Zayn and Louis helped Liam walk a few steps before Liam was panting, exhausted from controlling his muscles to not twitch and freak out on him. 

“Good job, Liam, you went further than yesterday,” Zayn said and released Liam’s hand to go pull the wheelchair closer. Louis gripped Liam’s hand tighter and put his hand on Liam’s lower back to help him keep his balance while they waited for Zayn to return with the chair.

Louis smiled at Liam, proud of him. Liam looked ready to return the smile, but then his elbow forcefully retracted to his side, jerking both their bodies together. Liam’s legs then gave out beneath him and Louis was unable to catch him before Liam fell onto the mat, Louis only just managing not to fall on top of the other boy, who was still clutching Louis’s hand.

“Liam? Are you okay?” Zayn rushed over, looking worried. This wasn’t the first time Liam’s fallen while doing this exercise, but they were never sure on how Liam was going to react. The first time he cried, a lot. Only sometimes he would just shrug it off.

Liam was partially holding himself up on his hands and knees, apart from the hand that was squeezing Louis’s painfully tight. There was silence in the room but as soon as Louis saw Liam’s shoulders shake, he gave Zayn a look.

Zayn nodded and patted Liam’s back before quietly leaving the room.

Louis sat down on the ground beside Liam. “You’re doing so well, Liam,” he said and Liam turned so he was sitting on the mat. Liam looked down at their hands before slowly loosening his grip and releasing Louis’s hand.

Liam wouldn’t look at Louis, but he could tell Liam was trying hard not to cry. “Do you want to rest?” Louis asked.

Liam nodded. Louis helped Liam back into the chair and pushed him down the hall to the bedrooms. They passed the kitchen where he overheard Zayn telling Harry and Niall about what happened. Louis hoped Liam didn’t hear.

Louis helped Liam into the bed and the boy curled up under the covers and immediately closed his eyes.

“Sleep tight,” Louis whispered and kissed Liam’s forehead before walking out, turning off the lights and closing the door behind him.

A few hours later, Louis returned to the bedroom to check up on Liam. He would have checked on him every few minutes if the other boys hadn’t convinced him to give Liam some space. He realized what a mistake that was though when he found Liam curled up on the bed, earphones in his ears and music blaring through them, looking distraught.

“Liam?’ Louis stepped closer to the boy, but Liam had his eyes closed. His mouth was moving and low moans and groans were coming out. As soon as he recognized the song blaring through the earphones, Louis realized that Liam was trying to sing along to their own music.

None of the boys, Liam included, brought up anything about One Direction to Liam. The next tour hadn’t even been discussed when they crashed, so they decided to just let things go and play it by ear. But now it seemed Liam had been thinking about the band a lot, and Louis’s heart broke as Liam struggled along with the song. 

Despite the fact that when Liam tried to talk, it sounded like a deep-voiced infant, it still made Louis smile when he tried. But watching as Liam cried while trying to sing made Louis reach out and yank the earphones from Liam’s ear.

Liam’s eyes flew open and he jumped nearly a foot away from Louis on the bed. He let out a loud moan that fell into a whimper.

“Liam, I’m so sorry,” Louis said, reaching out to Liam, but the boy flinched away. This time the flinch wasn’t an involuntary movement, it was Liam cringing away from Louis. 

Louis pulled his hand back and stared at Liam, unsure of what to do or say.

Liam pulled his knees to his chest, hiding his face in them. 

He scooted closer to Liam, moving slowly so that Liam wouldn’t flinch away. Once he was close enough, he put his arm around Liam and the younger boy fell in against him.

“Saaaa,” Liam tried to speak but then cried harder when he couldn’t get one word out.

“Shh,” Louis rubbed his shoulder. “I know you wish you can communicate and that this is very frustrating for you,” he began. Liam pulled away from Louis and grabbed the ipod. He turned it back on and shoved it in Louis’s face. The Take Me Home album cover shown back at him. He narrowed his eyes on himself staring fondly up at Liam. “This is the moment I decided I was in love with you,” he said.

Liam sighed and dropped the ipod back to the bed. Louis picked up the deserted ipod and turned it off  
Liam looked defeated and at a loss. He held up a number 1 and then said “D-d-d,” but looked at Louis with large eyes. 

Louis nodded, knowing what Liam was trying to say. He knew from the start but he wasn’t ready to have this conversation. “Yes, Liam, I know,” he said and took Liam’s trembling hand. “One Direction,” he stated with a frown. “I don’t know what’s going to happen with our contract but I know that the boys and I are never going leave you behind, okay? We love you and we’re not giving up on you, ever.”

Liam collapsed against Louis again and Louis lowered them both to the bed. He held Liam tightly, letting him continue to cry everything out against him. 

“It may not be soon, but one day you are going to run back out on that stage and sing your heart out to the world,” Louis said comfortingly. “It’s going to take time, yes, but do you realize how much you’ve improved since the first day? You couldn’t even stand the first time we tried, remember? And you’ve got the start of almost all the letters of the alphabet now,” he said and hoped that Liam’s little hiccup he did was a laugh and not a sob. “And I know I’ll never get tired of you sticking your tongue out at me,” Louis added and adjusted his body so he could look down at Liam.

Liam peeked up at him and smiled as best he can. “L-l-l-l-uh-uh,” he sputtered, his lips parting in frustration.

Louis eased Liam’s defeat by leaning forward and pressing lips against Liam’s. Liam’s mouth was sweeter than he remembered and Louis almost jumped in delight when Liam’s tongue met his when the kiss grew deeper. Liam’s trembling hand clamped down on the back of Louis’s head and held Louis there for a few moments. Both boys were breathless when they finally broke apart. 

“Luh-luh,” Liam tried again.

“I love you too, Liam,” Louis said and Liam smiled, a full and genuine smile.

Louis cuddled Liam close to him and hummed to him until the boy fell asleep. Louis knew that this wasn’t going to be the last time Liam would melt down from the pressure, but he knew that as long as he stood by the boy he loved, then nothing was going to stop Liam from getting better.


End file.
